Sqeesh Blog

Dealing with your teenager is tough. Dealing with your teenager’s sex life is even tougher. When it comes to giving advice to your child about sex, it is probably one of the most awkward chats to have. However, studies have found that talking to your child about sex, is not as awkward for your child as you might think.

Whether you want to think it or not, you kids are talking about sex with their friends on the school field. And it is not an uncomfortable topic for kids to learn about. I mean, it is taught in like grade 3 now, right? So if kids are getting exposed to “the talk” earlier in life, your children are already exposed to the topic of sex.

Also, whether you think it or not, your teenager (or child) does like to talk and have debates with you. They do like to share opinions with their parents, and they do like to sit down and have an in-depth conversation.

However, the issues come into action when you start to give your teenager advice. Teens do not like to take advice from anybody, especially their parents. So, I suggest you think about how you are going to talk to your child about their sex life, and approach it in a different way.

-I am NOT saying ignore your kids sex life. If you do not talk to your child about sex, there will be some serious consequences. So if you give “the talk” properly, and are armed with the facts, it will go a lot smoother.-

The #1 worst thing to say to your teen when talking to him/her about sex, is “don’t have sex until your married”. I don’t care if you don’t like what I am telling you, because this is the truth. Teens do not like to be told what to do. And especially when it comes their sex life.

Many teens feel that by having sex it will make them an adult, make then more mature and older. But that is where the problem is, if you talk with your child and tell him/her to not have sex, they are not going to listen to you. They will think that you don’t want them to grow up, and that you don’t want them to have any fun.

But, as you and I know, having sex too young is fun for a little while, but could have life changing consequences. However, I am not telling any teen TO have sex and I am not telling any teen to NOT have sex. They need to make their own decisions.

Teens like to have control, and I support that. But you must give them the proper facts for them to control their life for the better. If a teen knows all the facts about having sex, they most likely will choose NOT to do it. Because they will see that they are not emotionally ready, and that they are not ready for the responsibility.

Teens are a lot smarter than you might think, and they are more than capable of making their own choices. However, while you are talking to your child about sex, I suggest that you tell him/her the goods and bads. Do not make it sound like it is not fun, because they will not believe you. And don’t tell them it is fun, because they will not take sex seriously, then you might end up with a teenage father or mother in your home.

I suggest that you sit down with your teen, and talk to him or her about sex. Equally talk about the positives and negatives of having sex, and I would suggest that you have a very informative book for you teen to read on hand.

I would suggest “Changing Bodies, Changing Lives” because the author explains to teens (in teens vocabulary) the goods and bads of having sex to young. It will be a great way for your teen to come to a realization that they might not be ready to get intimate.

I have coached many teens, and I always get them to read “Changing Bodies, Changing Lives“, and after I have had my meeting with them, I phone them up and ask how they are doing, and just schmooze with them a little. Then I get down to the serious topic. And, every teen who understands the goods and bads of having sex, will come to the realization that they’re too young to be having sex.

Some of the teens even told me that they came to the conclusion that they will not have sex until they’re married. I’m not saying that is for everyone, but if a teen I counseled has made that choice for themselves, I totally support that.

I think it is very important that we make our teens make their own decisions. I believe that we do need to guide them with the proper facts and knowledge though. And most of the time, if we give them the proper facts, they will make the right choice. I suggest that you get your teen (or child) to read this book. It will teach your kid everything good and bad about having sex. It will also teach them about safe sex, and the emotional benefits/consequences of having sex.

Every teen that I meet with as a Life Coach, comes up with the same answer about this book. Not only is it good for me to give to my clients, it is also a great tool for you as a parent. You can read it yourself and learn how to talk with your child, or talk to your child and then give them this book to read. “Changing Bodies, Changing Lives“.

If you have any questions about this topic, because it is a tough one, I am always available. Please visit my website, KirkSchroeder.com